Surrending to Destiny
by bookworm722
Summary: Maintainers were supposed to see the world for what it was. They were realists and Katniss had always tried to follow the laws. Seekers were dangerous. Forbidden. Katniss had always followed the laws of her people until she met Seeker, Peeta Mellark, then all bets were off.


**Disclaimer: I do not own _The Hunger Games_ and this fanfiction is just for entertainment value.**

 **Hello everyone! I am back! I know it has been a long time, but real life has kept me crazy busy. This is another idea I am trying out and I want to see what you all think of it. Please review and let me know if I should continue it or not. :)**

 **Surrendering to Destiny**

Love does not exist. That is what I have always been told. Love is a romantic notion that used to be very popular, but that notion died out with my ancestors. Now, we know better. Love is a chemical imbalance in the body and that is all. Those idiots who die for love are simply that…idiots. Love is for the weak and doesn't truly exist. Being a maintainer means that we need to ensure that humanity survives. No one wants the human race to die out. After the war, we were left in tatters. The only way to truly survive is to maintain a routine and make sure that people follow it perfectly. Being a maintainer is the chosen life for me. My father and my sister are maintainers. My father has high hopes for me and has my entire future mapped out right down to the man I am supposed to marry. I didn't think about anything other than following my father's orders. I used to believe that being a maintainer was all that life had to offer me, but now I am not so sure.

My father gave me one assignment. I had one job and now everything was a mess. My loyalty to my people is being tested and I am failing miserably. You want to know what the worst part of my failure is? I don't care. I don't care that I am failing. I don't care that my life no longer makes sense to me. I don't care because I met Peeta. Peeta's blonde hair, athletic build, and hypnotic blue eyes have entranced me and I can no longer discern what is right and what is wrong anymore. Even now as I am walking to the ruined beach my thoughts are entirely focused on a man I can't have. Peeta is a seeker. My father would never allow such a union. Happiness is not important to maintainers. We are supposed to see the world a certain way and live that way.

All thoughts of maintainers evaporate when I see Peeta standing on the ruined beach and staring out into the cold, dark waters. I stand and stare at him for a moment longer before I quietly make my way over to him.

"You know most people would just say hello. It's not polite to stare." Peeta's beautiful deep voice reaches me and my legs turn to liquid as I stop in my tracks. My cheeks flood red in embarrassment of being caught gazing at him. Chaos bubbles inside of me and I force it back down causing my stomach to fill with unstable butterflies.

Peeta senses that I am not going to say anything. He smiles at me and walks toward me slowly. "Being a seeker doesn't mean you have to hate me. I am just different. The seekers are just looking for new ways to survive and the maintainers don't approve, but that's nothing new is it?"

I shake my head no because it isn't new. The maintainers are against anything that disrupts the flow of life they are desperate to maintain. Emotions are dangerous and the seekers don't agree. The seekers embrace emotion and use them in various ways. It is for that very reason that my father asked me to observe some of the seekers. Peeta was the first one I saw and he is the only one I have ever observed, but father doesn't need to know about that. Another word for "seeker" is "dreamer." They live in their own minds where anything is possible and dreams are not a far-fetched notion, but actually reachable. The maintainers are frightened of the havoc the seekers always seem to cause. Anything that is different than the normal routine of everyday life is dangerous to our people and the rest of the human race. We can't allow anyone to screw things up for us with their inventive stories or creative thoughts when we are virtually teetering on the edge of extinction.

I clear my throat and my voice sounds scratchy when I speak words I am not even sure I believe anymore. The words that I have been taught since a young child flow out of me and I know I no longer find relevance in them, not anymore. "The maintainers are just trying to protect what is left of this planet. Creativity is for the weak and simple minded. Life is not sunshine and rainbows. People need to know this or they risk falling victim to the charms of the seekers and effectively ruining their lives." I manage to choke out before I deflect my gaze and stare down at my sneakers instead of looking into Peeta's eyes. Is he disgusted with me? Does he hate me now? I don't want him to hate me and that thought alone fills me with anxiety.

I am startled when I feel Peeta's warm, calloused hand against my cheek. I involuntarily look up into his eyes. "I know you don't really believe that." He says in a low, gentle voice. He reads me so well and it is unnerving at times. I have never had some truly see me for who I am, or who I could be. Peeta continues speaking with his hand resting against my cheek. "I see something in you. You are genuine, intelligent, and real…you are not a maintainer and you never have been." He finishes in a whisper as my breath comes out in short pants. His hand is so warm against my cheek and it is stirring intensity within me. He leans in closer to me and I hold my breath as he whispers against my ear sending tingles throughout my body. "I don't understand how they could be so foolish. There is so much joy in this world and the gifts surrounding us should make us grateful for this amazing world we live in, but instead they are worried about maintaining life. They shouldn't be maintaining life. Life is to be lived!" He finishes in a normal voice and steps away slightly dropping his hand from my face. Peeta's passion affects me more than I will admit, but I can tell he already knows.

I try to regulate my breathing and turn away from him to look out at the ocean. My father had told me it had been deep, vast, and endless. He also told me that the beauty of it was overwhelming and powerful. I gaze out at the ocean for a moment and can't understand what could have been beautiful about the polluted, shallow, and smelly water that occasionally stains the sandy shores coal black. Peeta says that life is to be lived. Is that what I am doing? No, it isn't. I don't want to respond to Peeta's appeal so I change the subject.

"The ocean used to be beautiful, but look what our world has reduced it to in its current state. It is no longer what it was and humanity is responsible for the evil that made it so. What do you have to say to that?" I challenge him without looking away from the water.

I hear Peeta sigh behind me. "Close your eyes." He orders softly. I oblige and then he starts speaking again. "Picture the waves frothy and clear as they build in the distance and then crash on the brown sandy shore." His words make me concentrate on the beauty he is describing and I long to see the ocean in all its glory. "The ocean will regenerate itself in the next few years and then you will be able to see it, not just 'dream' it." He whispers into my ear and I feel goose bumps douse my skin immediately and then his words register. "Dream it." He had told me to visualize and picture the ocean and that is not something maintainers are allowed to do.

Angrily I open my eyes and take a few steps away from him and attempt to clear my muddled head. He is just playing with me. I try to convince myself of this, but I can't. I turn to face him and I see him jump a little at the obvious anger radiating throughout my body. "Our planet is no longer able to regenerate itself at any time. Humanity has destroyed her and all her gifts to us and we have no right to ask for them back." I say heatedly and then sigh. He knows that I shouldn't be talking to him, but every time I see him I do. He knows I don't like breaking the rules and yet every time I am in his presence I do. He is forbidden…and that makes him even more desirable to me. The lure of forbidden fruit is dangerous, exciting, and thrilling. These are all emotions I have been told to avoid at all costs, but when I am with him they crash around me like the waves of old on the beach and threaten to suffocate and free me at the same time. He speaks again to break the silence I try to use to protect myself.

"It's not fair to judge people, Katniss." His voice is low, rich, and sensual. I feel an excitement pushing against the resistance that I am trying to build around myself. I have been judging him, as I am supposed to do. Why then does it feel wrong? And how does he know who I am?

I look at him in confusion and surprise. We had been coming here for the past couple of weeks, four times a week. I had never told him my name because my father told me to remain secretive to protect myself. I know that Peeta is not a threat to me in that way, but I still manage to follow at least that one small rule for my family and all for naught it seems.

"How do you know my name?" I question curiously and he smiles that famous grin at me that makes my heart beat unevenly in my chest.

"I know everything about you. Your mother became a seeker when you were five years old. She tried to take you with her, but your father thwarted her efforts. I am here to take you to your mother. It is important that you are reunited with her. There is much that you need to understand about this life and your future."

I look at him as if he is crazy and he probably is. What would he know about my life and my future? He is a seeker and is trying to pull me under his spell. _Who are you kidding?_ My subconscious whispered at me. I am already under his spell and I have been since the day we met. It is why I keep coming back here to this damn beach to meet him. It has never been about observing him for my father, but about my own curiosity. Curiosity is supposed to be forbidden to the maintainers, but I can never help myself. With this thought in my mind, I feel as though he is telling me the truth. He has always been telling me the truth and I have been too frightened to realize that. However, I can't let my pride go that easily, right? It's all that I have left of the person I have always thought I knew until now.

"Why would I believe anything you say?" I tell him trying to sound brave and strong.

He looks at me seriously before he reaches out and touches my hand. The heat scorches through my skin as I pull away from his touch before it can entice me. I need to stay clearheaded at such a crucial time in my young life. Peeta leans in very close to me and I can smell his unique, intoxicating scent. He overwhelms me and it frightens me.

"You are in danger here. The maintainers are not who they say they are." He warns me and I feel conflicting sensations rise up inside me. Anger and confusion battle in my mind, but as per usual confusion and desire win out. I swallow loudly as I stare at him.

"What does that have to do with me?" I say wanting to have a purpose in this life so desperately that I cannot fathom a life without Peeta anymore and that frightens me more than I can admit to anyone.

Peeta seems intent on answering my question.

"I told you the first day we met that you were important. This has everything to do with you. You are the key to everything."

Peeta's impassioned voice reaches out to me, but the small ocean waves pull my attention away from him as I try to focus on the murky waves cascading onto the beach without any mercy. His words don't make sense to me. My mother? She had abandoned us to join the seekers. My father had told me she would never come back because she couldn't handle this life and the responsibility that came with it. I can't fathom how I am the key to everything. I am just an insignificant twenty year old girl. How can I make a difference? I shake my head to change the direction of my thoughts.

"I am not sure I follow you." My puzzlement is clear in my voice and I make no effort to hide it.

He sits on the beach and I sit down beside him. He stares deeply into my eyes and I can't look away even if I want to do so.

"Do you feel that?" He asks. When I don't answer he pulls my hand into his own and folds our fingers together. This time I don't pull away from him, I can't. The fire, the heat, and the emotions course through me threatening to overwhelm my entire existence. I nod slightly afraid to admit the effect he has on me.

His voice remains impassioned and strong as he reaches out to me and begs me to believe in him. "Those feelings mean that you are not a maintainer. Maintainers don't feel conflict and emotion. Maintainers don't dream about what the ocean used to look like. Maintainers simply do what they feel is necessary. That's not you. You are a seeker as well and we are bound to one another."

I laugh and stand up. Peeta is clearly crazy. I am not bound to him. The very idea is preposterous and oh so tempting…

"I am already spoken for." I say hesitantly because I don't care for the man my father has chosen to be my mate.

He stands beside me and looks down. I can't make eye contact with him, but I can feel his discomfort and his unwillingness to accept my fate. When he speaks to me again his voice is almost bitter and angry.

"Ah, yes. Gale Hawthorne, your father's best friend son. Don't you find it interesting that your father would marry you off to someone you don't love?"

I continue to avoid his gaze because I don't want him to know that I detest Gale and the idea of becoming his mate fills me with dread. I shouldn't care. It shouldn't matter to me, but it does. I never want him to touch me and when he speaks to me my entire body quivers in disgust. Peeta can tell what I am feeling anyway though, so there is no reason for me to answer. He is quick to reassure me and steer us back to friendlier places as his voice returns to its natural gentleness.

"There is no reason to feel the way you feel. You shouldn't have to be with a man you can't love. I can't allow that to become your fate. That would be too much for me to bear." He stops to clear his throat before pleading with me. "Come with me. I can give you a life you never imagined. We are destined to be together. I need you to believe in the concept of fate because I do."

I find myself nodding even though I have always thought the entire concept of destiny is absurd. However, when he talks about it I believe in it. I want to believe in everything as he does. I want to see the world the way that he does. I WANT things. I have never wanted things before. I have never dreamed of anything before. He takes my hand in his own and I revel once again in the feeling of his soft, warm hand in mine. My heart rate escalates as I change my entire future for him, for Peeta. I never give a thought to the mother who left me. I don't think about the anger my father will feel, the wrath Gale will force on the seekers, or the betrayal my sister will feel. I simply feel for once in my life and don't let any logical thoughts into my head. It feels good. It feels damn good. Peeta senses the change come over me and I can feel his elation and happiness with my decision through our entwined hands.

"Now that I have you, there is no reason for us to stay. Follow me." His voice is low, gruff, and sexy.

I find myself anxiously awaiting our lives together as I blindly follow him across the beach and into the Old Woods. I have never been to the Old Woods, but that no longer matters. Whatever happens no longer matters. I am not a maintainer and now I know I never truly was. I am a seeker and I am looking forward to living in a dream world and being overwhelmed with immense happiness. Peeta turns me to face him and puts his hands on my waist before leaning into me. His lips part my own and I moan as strong emotion pours through me and I melt against him as he kisses me softly, lovingly. I can see the ocean as he described as we kiss and all my dreams are immediately clear as I wrap myself around him. He pulls away after a minute with a luminous smile and I must blush six shades of red because he drops his hand to my cheek and grins at me.

"Beautiful." He whispers and any reservations I have about life as a seeker fall away. I have never felt this way before and I know I can't go back now. I can't go back to the life of a maintainer or to the coldness of an arranged marriage with a man I can't stand.

I hold tightly to Peeta's hand and follow him into the Old Woods in the opposite direction of the only home I have ever known. Even though I am leaving everything behind, I am at peace with myself and I want to see where my heart will lead me for a change. The thrill of being a seeker fills me with hope and I suddenly can't wait to be in my mother's loving embrace once again. War may be coming. Peeta may have cast the first stone, but the maintainers won't take my betrayal lightly. They will come for me and challenge the seekers. It doesn't matter though because I already know where my loyalty will lie – with the man by my side and with the dreamers who have forever been the people of the forest. Before I step into the forest I turn and look back at the only home I have ever known. It looks so small, barren, and cold now. I have moved beyond it and I know I can't waste any more of my life for my father. Peeta is right. Life is meant to be lived. It is my time to live my life no matter what war my father and Gale will bring against the seekers. It no longer matters because I want to really live.


End file.
